Breaking News !!!!!!!

Washington D.C. – Early reports indicate there may be a “Solar Event” tomorrow!

“Our White House Sources” in an “Exclusive Interview” have told CNN that the anticipated “Solar Event” could result in the sun rising in the East. “Our White House Sources” have told CNN that if in fact the sun does rise in the East tomorrow morning we should be prepared for a possible sunset in the West later that day.

Anderson Cooper is following this developing story and is en-route at this moment to assure that we have “Boots On The Ground” to cover this “Developing Story”. In addition, our very own neurosurgeon, Dr. Sanjay Gupta will accompany Anderson to explain the effects of sunshine on the human brain.

“Our Hearts Go Out” to the millions of Americans in our “Homeland” who may be in “Harms Way” of this event. And from all of us at CNN we can only wish Anderson and Sanjay “Gods Speed” as you place yourself in “Harms Way” to provide this report for your “Fellow Americans” during this “Homeland Crisis”.

When we return, following a brief word from our sponsors Ray-Ban Sunglasses and Coppertone Sun Tanning Lotion, we will return to the other stories we are following this hour including:

• Oprah Winfrey announces her wedding engagement to Sean Connery. Oprah has announced that she will be the “New Bond Girl” with Sean, her new husband, in his upcoming movie “Never Say Never To Oprah”.

• Mel Gibson announces the grand opening of his new Jewish Welcome Center in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

• Charlie Sheen announces the grand opening of his new drug rehabilitation center for homeless teen girls.

• Emmy Awards announce new category for the most clichés in a single broadcast. It is expected that CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, and NBC will be the finalist in winning this tribute to journalism.

• Homeless Veterans in Beverly Hills served “Quiche” and “Escargot” at the “Annual Hollywood Vet Buffet Day”.