Only recently have the pseudo intellectual hypocrites who call themselves “Therapist”, “Counselors”, or “Interventionist” come out of the closet for the bright lights of television in hopes of achieving their share of fame and fortune. One of these geniuses recently shot her career in the foot by enthusiastically using the "N" word on her radio show. Being Jewish will get you a long way sweetheart but not that far. Previously, this was the exclusive realm of politicians and television evangelist. Ironically, thanks to the failures of the politicians and assorted religions, the public has decided that they need “therapy”, “counseling” and “intervention”. The failure rates of these programs are so bad that they more often resemble rates of recidivism in “Correctional Institutions”. It wasn't that long ago that this same group was praising the virtues of assembly line ice pick lobotomies.
It’s ironic that the politicians can have cocktails at their private club on capitol hill, then have their government chauffeur be their "designated driver" while pandering to the lowest common denominator in society on how to administer “Tough Love’ to a cancer patient trying to alleviate some degree of pain and suffering or some kid who gets caught smoking joint. Just say no, have a cocktail or have your doctor call in an order for Xanax. Of course if you don't have health insurance that might be a problem so it looks like you are stuck with your street pharmacist. In California, medical marijuana is technically legal however it is still a federal violation and subject to prison time. So when we as a society apply “Tough Love” to another human being, we are also applying the same punishment to everyone in their universe including parents, grandparents, children, spouses, and anyone who cares about them. If you want to punish your fellow human being then do it and enjoy yourself but don’t wrap your actions in some vulgar term like “Tough Love.” The Politician
Recently, in San Diego all of the television and radio stations were warning people to bring in their plant and pets because the temperature was going to be down in the low 20s at night with light rain. Now that is what I call compassion! We are not only worried about everyone’s pets but also about their plants. Of course, what they neglected to mention was the number of homeless veterans and families with small children and the elderly in their 80s. It wasn’t that a shelter could not be found for these hopeless people it was that a local bureaucrat had failed to sign a form to authorize the shelter to be open. What was their solution? Simple, they passed out sheets of plastic so the women, children and elderly could cover themselves from the rain in 20 degree weather while on the street. Of course, it was about this time that the San Diego Police announced that they were going to be writing tickets to homeless people and of course if you have people who are homeless and who have lost everything, you have to have a homeless court.
We all know the motivation for “Tough Love” from politicians. It’s money from special interest like the out-sourced contractors who build and operate prisons to house the recipients of tough love including all of the non-violent offenders. Nothing says revenue like better commercial prisons. I recently heard a substance abuse counselor admit that the local police wait until just before Christmas to go out and round people up on bench warrants for unpaid traffic tickets because that is the time when the jail population is low and they have to fill the cells to get the revenue. Nothing says “Tough Love” better than arresting a father just before Christmas so he can spend time in jail for unpaid parking tickets or some other relatively insignificant violation while his family spend Christmas without him. Of course the people most likely to suffer from this form of “Tough Love” are the people with no resources to hire a lawyer or pay a bail bond company. If they had the money, they would have paid the ticket.
Another group of people besides the politicians, judges, and their surrogates who wrap themselves in the mantle of “Tough Love” are people who claim to be friends and family. These people can always be counted on to do what is in their best interest. When people are suffering and in pain, they act in ways that people do not want to deal with. When people claim to love the suffering person what they really mean is that they love them as long as they do not cost them any money, time or inconvenience. They also say they love them if they do what they want them to do immediately and under their conditions. They are either unwilling or unable to accept the person as they are and feel their pain to the extent of working through it with them. Show them the same compassion you would show you pet or plant. Bring them out of the cold and comfort them. I have always said that people will show more compassion for a stray animal than a stray human being because all you have to do is feed an animal and he will do what you want but unfortunately, humans are more complex and have both psychological and emotional needs in addition to physical needs.
Be as compassionate to your fellow human being as you would be to your pet or plant. Comfort and nurture them and focus on doing whatever you can to ease their pain and suffering. Don’t discard them under the guise of some politically correct phrase like “Tough Love”. In other words, recognize and discard your own selfish motivation for not doing the right thing and being protective and compassionate. You innately know what is right and what is wrong and when you do the wrong thing like discard this person in their time of need you will suffer for your actions for the rest of your life.
We as humans innately know what is right and wrong. When people see a person fall in the river there is always someone who comes to their aid. If we see someone trapped in a burning car we immediately come to their aid. If we see an animal trapped and in distress, we immediately come to their aid. We don’t apply the doctrine of “Tough Love” and say this will teach them a valuable lesson and next time they will be more careful. Why would we not have this same level of compassion for those closest to us who count on us in a time of crisis. Can’t we show them the same level of compassion we show a stranger or trapped animal?
Here are two rules:
Rule 1. “Do the right thing.” You know in your heart what it is!
Rule 2. “If in doubt, go back to Rule 1.”
I have personally suffered physically and psychologically as much as anyone reading these words and I have been with friends and family who were suffering while I held their hands as they died. You feel helpless and feel the sharp pain of a dagger being thrust into your heart. I have seen it in the military and I have seen it with my own cousin who was burned to death in an accidental fuel oil explosion. I was with him in the hospital before he died and all I could see was a charred piece of flesh protruding from his bandages.
People who unconditionally serve others without regard for their own needs are special and I wrote this poem for them. The Server
